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Home Texas Longhorns Football

Saturday With Uncle Beevomav..Wednesday Edition

Aaron Carrara by Aaron Carrara
January 8, 2013
in Texas Longhorns Football
Reading Time: 3 mins read
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https://www.hornsports.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/swbm.jpg

 

READ ALSO

Longhorns snag former Rutgers CB Bo Mascoe from Portal

Texas adds former Michigan State TE Michael Masunas from Transfer Portal

 

 

Channeling South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut 

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Satan: How come you always want to make love to me from behind? Is it because you want to pretend I’m somebody else?

 

Saddam Hussein: Satan, your ass is gigantic and red. Who am I going to pretend you are, Liza Minelli?

 

Item:  It seems that whoever is in charge of defensive back recruitment at Texas should quit or be fired. The last two Heisman winners, Johnny Football and RGIII, were both interested in Texas but Texas was only interested in them as cornerbacks. My question is did anyone notice our QB’s and CB’s? Nuff said!

 

Cartman: Hey Stan, tell them about the part where Terrence calls Phillip a testicle *%&*% rectal wart.

 

Item: ESPN Story… AUSTIN, Texas : Texas is planning on having three quarterbacks this spring and one of those will be Case McCoy. It was dated Dec, 30th.  The day after McCoy and Hicks were sent home.

 

[to Phillip]

 

Terrence: This is worse than the time when I fell asleep and you put your *&^* in my mouth and took a picture.

 

Item: Texas’ roller coaster of a year. They started at # 15. Defeated OSU and got as high as # 11. After getting blown out by OU they fell out of the rankings. Then they beat Texas Tech on the road and got back to # 19.  A loss to KSU put them out of the polls again. Then a stirring come from behind win over OSU and they ended up at 9-4 and ranked at #19.  They went through all that and ended up four places from where they started.

 

Cartman: That movie has warped my fragile little mind.

 

 

 

 

Item: The Wall Street Journal published a research project from Indiana and Purdue Universities. It was about the most valuable college football team and most know that Texas was number one.. with a value of $761 million about $30 million more that the next closest University.

 

 

 

I do wonder how many would have suspected that Texas Tech came in #22 ahead of Oklahoma State, Kansas State and Colorado which rounded out Brewer’s top 25?  The Red Raiders’ brand also beat out big name schools like USC, Georgia Tech, Virginia Tech, Arizona State, Florida State, Miami, UCLA, Mississippi and Boston College in descending order.

 

 

 

 

Cartman: Mom? If you were in a German “scheisse” video, you… you’d tell me, right?

 

[short pause]

 

Mrs. Cartman: Sure, hon.

 

 

 

Here’s to our University, the city of Austin and all the players who have made this University what it is today. We truly honor you!

 

 

 

Last a special shout out to the greatest coach in the history of Texas. Darrell K Royal will live on in our hearts and minds. Hook ‘Em Coach.

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Longhorns snag former Rutgers CB Bo Mascoe from Portal

Longhorns snag former Rutgers CB Bo Mascoe from Portal

January 7, 2026
Texas adds Michigan State TE Michael Masunas from Transfer Portal

Texas adds former Michigan State TE Michael Masunas from Transfer Portal

January 5, 2026
Former Florida State kicker Mac Chiumento commits to Texas

Former Florida State kicker Mac Chiumento commits to Texas

January 4, 2026

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