Alright guys, I need some advice...
- Thread starter BevoBlake
- Start date
Lord Vader
Sith Lord
- Joined
- May 23, 2012
- Messages
- 3,290
So he said yes?
doc longhorn
V.I.P.
- Joined
- Nov 13, 2013
- Messages
- 2,985
These were my rules of dating my daughter - to my, now, son-in-law:
1. When arriving at our home, the car you are driving must be reasonable,
unadorned by anything making it stand out in my mind as “weird.â€
You will not honk your horn in our driveway unless you are also
working for UPS.
2. Your clothing must be neat, clean, with no underwear showing. Slacks
should not be baggy or falling off. If they are very loose, they will
be hot-glued to your body. Underwear will be affixed likewise under
your armpits.
3. There will be no touching my daughter in front of me.
4. There will be no looking at my daughter except from the neck up.
5. There certainly will be no kissing her. When you do kiss her, your next
step will be with her down the aisle of a church.
6. There is a curfew, violation of which will bring down my wrath. Details
of the curfew, such as time, will not be revealed until you bring her
home. Be early.
7. The following places are off limits: any place serving alcohol, any place
having darkness, any place requiring the two of you to be alone.
8. Remember that you are not my buddy. I neither need nor want another
acquaintance.
9. You will continue to date my daughter until she tires of you.
10. Prior to your first date, you must submit the following: a physical exam,
psychological profile, driver’s license, a letter from your clergyman, a
copy of your high school diploma, 2 pictures of yourself, one front
on, the other a profile, neither with numbers under them.
Adherence to these rules is mandatory. I have old Delta Force comrades who will assist me in their enforcement.
1. When arriving at our home, the car you are driving must be reasonable,
unadorned by anything making it stand out in my mind as “weird.â€
You will not honk your horn in our driveway unless you are also
working for UPS.
2. Your clothing must be neat, clean, with no underwear showing. Slacks
should not be baggy or falling off. If they are very loose, they will
be hot-glued to your body. Underwear will be affixed likewise under
your armpits.
3. There will be no touching my daughter in front of me.
4. There will be no looking at my daughter except from the neck up.
5. There certainly will be no kissing her. When you do kiss her, your next
step will be with her down the aisle of a church.
6. There is a curfew, violation of which will bring down my wrath. Details
of the curfew, such as time, will not be revealed until you bring her
home. Be early.
7. The following places are off limits: any place serving alcohol, any place
having darkness, any place requiring the two of you to be alone.
8. Remember that you are not my buddy. I neither need nor want another
acquaintance.
9. You will continue to date my daughter until she tires of you.
10. Prior to your first date, you must submit the following: a physical exam,
psychological profile, driver’s license, a letter from your clergyman, a
copy of your high school diploma, 2 pictures of yourself, one front
on, the other a profile, neither with numbers under them.
Adherence to these rules is mandatory. I have old Delta Force comrades who will assist me in their enforcement.
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