Alright guys, I need some advice...

[ridik01]

I lucked out, only had to talk to her mother. My wife is estranged with her dad.

I said, "hey, can I marry your daughter?" Lmao, and it worked!

-I get along with her mom so it was no big deal.

 

[DocHorn]

Sure thing Darrell! I plan on making the phone call tonight. And if all goes well there, I'll be popping the question on January 1st.

Be sure to go into great detail about the prenup, that will go over well!

 

[Bfennell]

Everyone here has hit the nail on the head. Be honest, be respectful and most importantly be yourself.

Things you might want to be prepared to answer are things like a "5 year plan" or how you plan to support your significant other long term. Props to you for asking her dad-- that alone shows your level of respect for her and her family.

I sat down with both my wife's parents and had that same talk over 9 yrs. ago. I was nervous as hell but I think they found that endearing.

Best wishes to you both!

 

[bbdude]

Be yourself and you will be fine!

 

[edw339]

I got married my junior year of college. My wife was a freshman at UT. I thought he might want to know that I knew I would have some responsibilities so I launched into a 20 minute monologue about how I was going to address health insurance, car insurance, rent, emergencies, etc. When I got done, he looked at me and dead panned, "My daughter is not for sale."

I said, "I didn't mean to imply that, I just love her very much and I want this, and I was sure you would think we were too young to understand what we were getting into."

He said, "I know you love her, and I trust you both because I can see who you are. I couldn't have picked anyone better for my daughter had I had the choice. If you think its time, then I believe you. Don't make a liar out of me."

I say that to point out that I made it more difficult than it had to be and at the end of the day, he didn't want an analytical approach to the conversation, he wanted me to approach her as he approached her - straight from the heart.

 

[Lukus Alderman]

My father-in-law basically said no.

He said that we should wait until I had a job lined up and I had things better planned. It was like a punch in the face.

But he was right, so we waited a year. We both had a job and we purchased a house that we were ready to move into when we got married. One of the best decisions I made.

 

[RealtorHorn]

Congratulations man! Enjoy these next few months and remember that she has been thinking about this wedding for years, make it special for her.

 

[Jyoung185]

My three recommendations would be 1) Be confident, speak very strait-forward and honestly. 2) Begin by complimenting his daughter, all the things that you have grown to love about her/ all the positive traits you see in her, etc. Complimenting his daughter is complimenting him. 3) Be sincere and be yourself.

 

[Strosbros]

Sure thing Darrell! I plan on making the phone call tonight. And if all goes well there, I'll be popping the question on January 1st.

Just a thought. If you aren't asking until Jan 1st. You might consider waiting until closer to that day. If her father is still married then he will want to tell her mother/stepmother and this is OK because secrets area bad thing for a marriage. But 2 weeks is a long time for a mother to keep this kind of secret. I know I waited until the day before we left town to talk to my FIL, but then again my MIL can't keep a secret for crap. Anytime she sees a movie before us, I concede the fact that I will know the ending before I get a chance to watch it. Just something to consider.

 

[dcbc]

I'll pass along the advice that was given to me by a friend before I had the talk. Ask for his "blessing," not his "permission." If he says "no," you're going to marry her anyway, right?

As a side note, my, now, wife and I had been dating for nearly four years. So any planned meetings between me and her dad were suspect. He's a dentist. So I scheduled a cleaning. Afterward, I went into the back office and got his blessing. Then, I went to the front and paid my bill. Last time I have paid for dental work.

 

[joeywa]

You'll be just fine. Don't stress about it. Her Pa puts on his britches the same way as you do, one leg at a time.

Be honest, don't be Eddie Haskell, and everything will work out.

Good luck.

 

[anglerman]

Lots of good advice here.My only addition would be to go see him and do it in person.You are only going to do this once. He will be impressed and should solidify your position if it is not already.

 

[GetHooked]

Tell him you've had lots of women but no one is better in bed than his daughter.

 

[DocHorn]

lots of good advice here.my only addition would be to go see him and do it in person.you hope you will only going to do this once. He will be impressed and should solidify your position if it is not already.

fify

 

[monarch]

...do you have any money? the act of seeking advice as per your fellow "hornsports" peers is quite the noble gesture... however, i get the sense that there is a bit more to this than meets the eye. do you really love her / him? (these day's one can never just assume) what is it that you are lacking? let's be honest... then we shall talk...

 

[utparothed]

Hey, what are you trying to say here? Oh, you are talking about the asking the father, right?? Hahaha

Damn. Horrible choice of words...

 

[BevoBlake]

Just a thought. If you aren't asking until Jan 1st. You might consider waiting until closer to that day. If her father is still married then he will want to tell her mother/stepmother and this is OK because secrets area bad thing for a marriage. But 2 weeks is a long time for a mother to keep this kind of secret. I know I waited until the day before we left town to talk to my FIL, but then again my MIL can't keep a secret for crap. Anytime she sees a movie before us, I concede the fact that I will know the ending before I get a chance to watch it. Just something to consider.

Her parents aren't still married, so I'm not too worried about him telling her mom. It's known that her mother, bless her heart, isn't the best with secrets.

Lots of good advice here.My only addition would be to go see him and do it in person.You are only going to do this once. He will be impressed and should solidify your position if it is not already.

Unfortunately, I don't think that will be possible. He's up in Chicago, so I'd have to either fly or drive to see him. It would be hard to explain to the future fiance why I'm paying for airfare or gas in Missouri.

...do you have any money? the act of seeking advice as per your fellow "hornsports" peers is quite the noble gesture... however, i get the sense that there is a bit more to this than meets the eye. do you really love her / him? (these day's one can never just assume) what is it that you are lacking? let's be honest... then we shall talk...

I'm not sure we're on the same page. Money isn't the problem and I'm certainly in love with her. Nothing's lacking, outside of my knowledge on how the talk with my future father in law is supposed to work.

 

[Texas74]

Both of my daughters have been married in the last 6 years and I received "the call" from both of my sons-in-law, it was important to me as well as to my daughters. The advice to be sincere and be yourself is on the mark. ' Nuff said.

 

[Topstarr]

Be cool and be your self when you talk to him on the phone. When you ask the father if he is OK with you being a new family member, you then say PLEASE. It worked for me 49 years ago and we still are Married.

Hook'em to the phone.

 

[Chris Flanagan]

Dads aren't gonna kill you. Obviously don't talk about the random places you had sex with his daughter. I mean he knows but he'd rather ignore it happens.

But honestly, he'll try to scare you away to test you. You stick around after the the stuff he might put you through, he knows you'll stick by her when the going gets tough in life which it will. Then he feels confident he can trust you with her life. That's my point of view.