Seems Aggy has since retracted their ghost championships. Flanagan probably put the heat on them a little too hard....
September 7, 2012 (AP) – Texas A&M University reversed its ground today, retracting an earlier announcement that it was claiming national championships in 1919 and 1927 and Big 12 Conference championships in 1997 and 2010. “We have gone back and reviewed historical data and determined that our earlier announcement was erroneous and ill-advised,” said Jennifer Martin, A&M’s Director of Athletics Marketing. “Instead, I am pleased to announce that Texas A&M will now be claiming 118 national and conference championships, dating back to the inception of Aggie football in 1894.” When asked by incredulous reports how A&M could arrive at such a conclusion, Martin explained, “Well, I looked up “champion” in Webster’s,” brandishing a pocket dictionary. “It says a ‘champion’ is ‘one who comes forward in defense of another.’ Well, with A&M’s rich military tradition, isn’t that what our school is all about…defending our great nation and all of the conferences in it? We are a champion for America! WHOOP!”
Texas A&M head football coach Kevin Sumlin was ecstatic with the announcement, “Obviously, we’re going to need a much bigger stadium. There’s no way we’ll ever fit all them numbers up on the wall at Kyle Field.” He added, “It really takes the pressure off of me as a first-year coach. It’s a great relief knowing that, regardless of our win-loss record this year, the Aggies are going to be the 2012 national champions and SEC conference champions. Whew!"
In related news, Texas A&M announced this afternoon that it was also claiming all 76 Heisman trophies, Rick Perry’s victory in the 2008 Republican primary and subsequent presidential election, The South’s victory in the Civil War, and victory in Vietnam.
“It’s truly a great time to be an Aggie,” said A&M President R. Bowen Loftin. “I think the lesson today is that defeat should never be an obstacle to victory. 99% of winning is believing you’re a winner. Here at A&M, we will never let reality deter us from our vision of who we are as Aggies.”
