The Chaos Index, Week 4: Everything's Bigger In Texas (Including Meltdowns!)

[Chaos Index]

This week, the fickle flipped finger of fate made sure that everything – including bizarre meltdowns – really is bigger in Texas.  Say hello to our chaotic little friends.

1. Texas – Admit it: you thought it couldn't get any worse than losing a game on a missed extra point. Fun game for the next six days: try to guess how much worse it could get.  Sometimes, it's just not your year.
2. TCU – Football can be a very cruel game. What's happened to the Frogs defense isn't at all fair, and you've got to admire the fact they're playing through it.  Anyway, Texas is going to explode at some point, and next Saturday in Dallas might just be that point.  Also, if they gave up 52 to a good, but hardly great, Texas Tech offense, what might Baylor and Oklahoma do to them?
3. Tennessee – Do you, to paraphrase Guns 'N Roses, have an appetite for self-destruction?  Then find a way to pit Texas and Tennessee against each other in The Game That Both Teams Absolutely Must Win Or Else and watch what happens.  But first, you might want to travel to Knoxville and buy up every box of razor blades in sight before the natives can get their hands on them.
4. Arkansas – Give those Hogs a participation trophy for putting up a good fight against TAMU!  That game with Auburn in four weeks could be the most disappointing game in the history of life (for both teams).
5. VaTech – It's an old recipe for chaos: coaching legend stays a little too long.  Things aren't awful, but they go downhill just enough that the natives start bitching.  The coach doesn't want to go yet; he wants to fix things first and then hang 'em up.  There's a long-time successor-in-waiting, but the fans want a big name who probably wouldn't touch the gig with a ten-foot pole.  Throw in the coach's desire to see his son, who's on the staff as an assistant, succeed him. 
6. South Carolina – See VaTech.
7. Territorial Cup – Remember when the Arizona schools were considered big-time players in the Pac-12 South, and because of that, national pictures?   Now that the SoCal schools have immolated them at home for 98 points, you can probably forget about it.
8. Ohio State – About that whole deal with having three Heisman-caliber quarterbacks: maybe the best one is play wide receiver.  It's a good thing they've got a long way to Michigan State and a whole lot of cupcakes to devour before then.
9. Wyoming – You know you've got trouble when you're 0-4, and the "good" loss is to Washington State.  (Hey, it beats losing to Eastern Michigan, an FCS team, and the ramblin' wreck from New Mex.)  They're paying Craig Bohl how much money for this? 
10. UTEP – Memo to Sean Kugler: bro, wake up!  You stumbled into a quarterback, and you have no more running game.  Also, you just got spooked by something called Incarnate Word (which is not what a devout Catholic version of Vanilla Ice would wish to your mother).  Take your "team identity" and that three-yards-and-a-cloud-of-dust act and shelve it for the next several years.  

The rest of Week Four's Chaos Index can be found here.

 

[Sirhornsalot]

11. OU continues to suck.