OT subject - women

[doc longhorn]

My grandson asked me how to find the girl of his dreams.  This was a serious question requiring a serious answer.

I thought about his and told him I would get back with him as I needed to do some research.  As old as I am I knew that I would need supporting evidence for a subject as complex as this.

Thank god for the internet as I was able to locate a scientific treatise that explains how to find the perfect girl, perfectly.

to wit:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lc3LUCu8-IU

 

[castlebravo1]

Ah, Dana McClendon.  Lives not far from me.  A sage on women and a huge gun rights advocate.  You can see his open carry gun in the video.  As a 50 year old single man who has never been married, I can see a lot of truth in this video.

 

[joeywa]

Showed my 17 yr old son this same video not long ago.  Told him to study it.  Learn it.  Live it. 

You could always go the more direct route that my grandfather went, which is to say the following two factually accurate things:

• "If it has tits or a transmission it's gonna give ya trouble at some point."
• "If it flies, floats or f##ks, rent it."

 

[Johnstark23]

Sage words of advice Joeywa, sage indeed

 

[castlebravo1]

Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?

 

[J.B. TexasEx]

• "If it has tits or a transmission it's gonna give ya trouble at some point."
  [*]"If it flies, floats or f##ks, rent it."

Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?

I can see you boys are tryin' to endear yourselves to SFlonghorngirl and java! Never a mod around when she needs one!

 

[Randolph Duke]

Your grandson must be quite young. By the time I was 25, I had met the woman of my dreams about 15 times. Just tell him to stay single until he is 30 and after that, things just take care of themselves.

 

[castlebravo1]

•  

I can see you boys are tryin' to endear yourselves to SFlonghorngirl and java! Never a mod around when she needs one!

eh, most independent women I know feel the same way about men...

 

[joeywa]

I can see you boys are tryin' to endear yourselves to SFlonghorngirl and java! Never a mod around when she needs one!

Fairly certain that she would agree with us.  She's pretty savvy. 

 

[Aaron Carrara]

Doc, I couldn't help but think of this movie:

 

[joeywa]

Ooohhh.  Kelly Lebrock was a straight up smoke show back then. 

 

[Aaron Carrara]

Every young man should see that movie.  I'm sure there will be a remake of it soon... SMH.

 

[Shevis Irons]

If I had a son, I'd make him watch "Scent of A Woman" several times.

 

[DMAC]

Funny video.  My wife is a unicorn and a Bama grad, go figure.  

 

[Duke C #11]

In fairness, here is something a female friend sent me a few years ago.

[SIZE=36pt]The Why's of Men[/SIZE]​

[SIZE=18pt]1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?[/SIZE]   ​

[SIZE=18pt](because they are plugged into a genius)[/SIZE]   ​

[SIZE=18pt]2. WHY DON'T MEN BLINK DURING SEX?[/SIZE]   ​

[SIZE=18pt](they don't have enough [/SIZE]time)  ​

[SIZE=18pt]3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?[/SIZE]   ​

[SIZE=18pt](they don't stop to ask directions)[/SIZE]   ​

[SIZE=18pt]4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?[/SIZE]  ​

[SIZE=18pt](because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapour lock)[/SIZE]  ​

[SIZE=18pt](You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)[/SIZE]   ​

[SIZE=18pt]5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?[/SIZE]  ​

[SIZE=18pt](so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)[/SIZE]  ​

[SIZE=18pt]6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?[/SIZE]  ​

[SIZE=18pt](you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)[/SIZE]   ​

[SIZE=18pt]7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?[/SIZE]   ​

[SIZE=18pt](don't know....it never happened)[/SIZE]   ​

[SIZE=18pt]( C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)[/SIZE]   ​

[SIZE=18pt]And the personal favourite:[/SIZE]   ​

[SIZE=18pt]8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?[/SIZE]  ​

[SIZE=18pt](because a vibrator [/SIZE]can't mow the lawn)​

 

[echeese]

Showed my 17 yr old son this same video not long ago.  Told him to study it.  Learn it.  Live it. 

You could always go the more direct route that my grandfather went, which is to say the following two factually accurate things:

• "If it has tits or a transmission it's gonna give ya trouble at some point."
• "If it flies, floats or f##ks, rent it."

And Mom was no where in ear shot. . . . .

 

[castlebravo1]

Ooohhh.  Kelly Lebrock was a straight up smoke show back then. 

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.

 

[java]

Hello, boys.

 

[doc longhorn]

Hello, boys.

Yikes!