Would you go see this movie

[littlejon82]

Howdy fellow hornfans,

After reading some of the comments on the "George Clooney" thread I noticed a lot of y'all have pretty strong opinions on what makes for a good movie.

Anyway, as an aspiring Spec Screenwriter I wanted to get feed back from you guys on a project I'm currently working on. Now, the nature of the movie industry is such that if you are lucky enough to get a pitch meeting with producers or you just happen to run into someone important on the street, you have a very limited amount of time to articulate what the movie is about. Producers and movie makers are busy people who don't have the time to give "nobodies" like myself twenty minutes of undivided attention to explain what our movie is about.

With that being the case. Writers like myself have to come up with a very brief synopsis called a "logline" to entice the interest of potential producers.

Below is my logline for the script I'm working on. Please give y'all's honest opinion if this intrigues you or it looks boring.

"Fate and a lack of communication leads to a traumatized naval officer and his ship mate's involvement in the largest naval battle in history."

The film is set during the latter part of WWII in the Pacific. Please let me know what impressions you get from the logline above. Would you see the movie? Why or why not? I'll check the thread periodically and answer any questions y'all might have.

 

[echeese]

I'd likely see the movie as the War in the Pacific is an area I really enjoy. . . . .there is a strong tie to the issues of today with PTSD and the mental anquish of war among our veterans. . .

If I were a producer. . .I see a big budget film which would need a strong and empathetic lead to "hook" the audience. . . there have been some pretty good war movies go bust trying to convey the mental side of war. . . .

I hope you can pull it off. . .would certainly use our iraq and afghanistan veteran's assoc to help you promote it. ..

 

[Lord Vader]

I'd be interested just because it was a war film set in WW2.

 

[littlejon82]

Thanks guys. The movie is a buildup to the Battle of Leyte Gulf. This battle has been the focus of many documentaries on the history channel. The final act of the film is the Battle of Samar in a David v. Goliath matchup between four US Destroyers and the bulk of the Japanese surface fleet. These destroyers fight with such ferocity, that the Japanese actually mistake them for Admiral Bill Halsey's Third fleet. In the film Halsey gets drawn away by a Japanese decoy fleet made up of carriers which had few if any pilots. The real threat in the battle was the Japanese surface force which consisted of two of the biggest battleships ever built. I'm trying not only to tell a great story, but also to remain as historically accurate as possible. A hard thing to accomplish with movies in many cases.

 

[JimsTexas]

My dad served in the Pacific during WWII he was in 13 battles and serving in the Navy UDT so I would look at the movie. My dad would never talk about what he did while he was in the Navy. I tried several times to get him to talk but he just would not do it. My friends y'all have a great weekend.

 

[streettopeschel]

I'm good with what ever ever lsampson says. He's my cinematic go-to guy.

 

[Topstarr]

yes....if I had enough money to go to the movie with my wife. I lived in Refugio when I was real young and we got in the movie for 11 cents and 5 cents for a sour pickle and a coke.

 

[bcherry168]

Love fact based WW II films. Hollywood has not been good about making decent films for a while. I get real tired of the preachy left wing stuff. Won't go if that is what a film is.

 

[littlejon82]

Love fact based WW II films. Hollywood has not been good about making decent films for a while. I get real tired of the preachy left wing stuff. Won't go if that is what a film is.

This focuses on events that lead up to the battle and the battle of Samar at the very end. Other than a reference to Roosevelt, there is nothing really political about it. I look at it as a tribute to men in the U.S. Navy. There really hasn't been a good WWII navy movie in so long.

 

[echeese]

Thanks guys. The movie is a buildup to the Battle of Leyte Gulf. This battle has been the focus of many documentaries on the history channel. The final act of the film is the Battle of Samar in a David v. Goliath matchup between four US Destroyers and the bulk of the Japanese surface fleet. These destroyers fight with such ferocity, that the Japanese actually mistake them for Admiral Bill Halsey's Third fleet. In the film Halsey gets drawn away by a Japanese decoy fleet made up of carriers which had few if any pilots. The real threat in the battle was the Japanese surface force which consisted of two of the biggest battleships ever built. I'm trying not only to tell a great story, but also to remain as historically accurate as possible. A hard thing to accomplish with movies in many cases.

This is one of the best "untold" stories of WWII. . .now either the history channel or military channel has an hour long show but if you understand capabilities. . . this was a GREAT story on many levels (tactics, brass balls, david v goliath, courage etc).

Really hope you can pull this off. . .btw. . .it will also most likely be the last time in history you see a ship to ship surface battle between navies without the use of carriers .. . .

 

[littlejon82]

This is one of the best "untold" stories of WWII. . .now either the history channel or military channel has an hour long show but if you understand capabilities. . . this was a GREAT story on many levels (tactics, brass balls, david v goliath, courage etc).
Really hope you can pull this off. . .btw. . .it will also most likely be the last time in history you see a ship to ship surface battle between navies without the use of carriers .. . .

Yep, on one hand it was a tragedy between the destroyers facing the battleships and heavy cruisers, and Halsey's deep seeded desire to face the Japanese gun for gun, but missing his opportunity because of his obsession of taking out the Japanese carriers (which even his own staff members were telling him were impotent by that point in the war). On the other hand it's a story that exalts all the best traits we look for when man has his back against the wall. Pure unbridled courage in the face of overwhelming odds. And proof that sometimes you have to lose to win. The destroyers may have been sunk or heavily damaged, but they still managed to run off one of the most powerful surface fleets in history.

It also marks the only time in history that a carrier was sunk by gunfire.

I've been obsessed with this story since I was 8 years old. I've been working on the screenplay for 5 years.

 

[DocHorn]

Yep, on one hand it was a tragedy between the destroyers facing the battleships and heavy cruisers, and Halsey's deep seeded desire to face the Japanese gun for gun, but missing his opportunity because of his obsession of taking out the Japanese carriers (which even his own staff members were telling him were impotent by that point in the war). On the other hand it's a story that exalts all the best traits we look for when man has his back against the wall. Pure unbridled courage in the face of overwhelming odds. And proof that sometimes you have to lose to win. The destroyers may have been sunk or heavily damaged, but they still managed to run off one of the most powerful surface fleets in history.
It also marks the only time in history that a carrier was sunk by gunfire.

I've been obsessed with this story since I was 8 years old. I've been working on the screenplay for 5 years.

Halsey was a fool and we were really lucky at Leyte. "Where is task force 34, the world wonders!"

I have read that Nimitz didn't mean to include the rebuke, but I'm not so sure. Leyte was a battle that was full of mistakes on both sides and boy were we lucky, probably as lucky as we were at Midway.

Anyway, it's a great story. If you tell the whole thing it better be a two or three parter or a miniseries

Another ww2 story I would like to be told is the mission to kill Yamamoto by a squadron of p 38s . Truly amazing.

 

[Lukus Alderman]

I'm always a sucker for David and Goliath stories involving our military.

One of the things you have going for you is the fact that it's a WWII movie based in the Pacific on water. I can't think of any recent movie that was decent with the same traits as what you're proposing.

I'd watch it as long as Matt Damon and Sean Penn aren't involved. If George Clooney is in it, make sure he plays a Japanese guy that gets killed.

 

[joeywa]

I'd go see it. Love WW2, as my grandfather was in Operation Market Garden. Interesting history. Good luck!

 

[Captain Hookem]

"Fate and a lack of communication leads to a traumatized naval officer and his ship mate's involvement in the largest naval battle in history."

I played that over in my head a few times in the voice of the movie preview guy. Sounds like a great project, and having a Grandfather who died in the war myself have always had an interest in it.

Honestly I was a bit confused by the logline (had no idea it was called that). I think you're close, but not sure the hook is fully set. Maybe cut some unnecessary words and make it less passive by throwing in some action:

"Fate, and lack of communication, plunges a traumatized WWII naval officer into the the largest naval battle in world history."

I don't think people care right off about the ship mate. The naval officer, and what caused his trauma, is more compelling.

Throwing in 'world history' sounds more epic, but not sure if that's factually correct, or if that was just the biggest battle of the war.

Best of luck with the project!

 

[DocHorn]

I played that over in my head a few times in the voice of the movie preview guy. Sounds like a great project, and having a Grandfather who died in the war myself have always had an interest in it.
Honestly I was a bit confused by the logline (had no idea it was called that). I think you're close, but not sure the hook is fully set. Maybe cut some unnecessary words and make it less passive by throwing in some action:

"Fate, and lack of communication, plunges a traumatized WWII naval officer into the the largest naval battle in world history."

I don't think people care right off about the ship mate. The naval officer, and what caused his trauma, is more compelling.

Throwing in 'world history' sounds more epic, but not sure if that's factually correct, or if that was just the biggest battle of the war.

Best of luck with the project!

No, it was the largest battle in all of naval history.

 

[DukeHorn]

Love fact based WW II films. Hollywood has not been good about making decent films for a while. I get real tired of the preachy left wing stuff. Won't go if that is what a film is.

You want to go back to John Wayne days? I actually wrote my senior thesis at UT on the evolution of Vietnam War films. I'd rather have a Saving Private Ryan, a Bridge Too Far, or Band of Brothers than the feel good "Sands of Iwo Jima". Was Letters from Iwo Jima and Flags of Our Fathers too preachy for you? Fact based WW II movies usually are the preachy ones because war isn't something to idealize. Stuff like Pearl Harbor are the bombastic rah rah movies.

I'd love see a good movie on the Nisei regiment in Italy (442nd).

As for the largest naval battle, I'd rather use Jutland since it had the most tonnage of ships actually engaged in combat versus Leyte Gulf.

 

[littlejon82]

I played that over in my head a few times in the voice of the movie preview guy. Sounds like a great project, and having a Grandfather who died in the war myself have always had an interest in it.

Honestly I was a bit confused by the logline (had no idea it was called that). I think you're close, but not sure the hook is fully set. Maybe cut some unnecessary words and make it less passive by throwing in some action:

"Fate, and lack of communication, plunges a traumatized WWII naval officer into the the largest naval battle in world history."

I don't think people care right off about the ship mate. The naval officer, and what caused his trauma, is more compelling.

Throwing in 'world history' sounds more epic, but not sure if that's factually correct, or if that was just the biggest battle of the war.

Best of luck with the project!

Great points friend. I appreciate the feedback. What you're saying is kinda mirroring what's happening in the writing process. I find (because the scope is so big with everyone and everything involved) I'm having to include less regarding the shipmates.

The doc is right when he says it should probably be a miniseries. There's so much that should be included, but can't be because of space. I'm taking it on in a 120 page feature film. If I have to rework it at a later date, than so be it. Trying to be historically accurate while attempting to create a good story while limiting it to 2.5 hours is hard but I gotta try.

 

[littlejon82]

I'm always a sucker for David and Goliath stories involving our military.
One of the things you have going for you is the fact that it's a WWII movie based in the Pacific on water. I can't think of any recent movie that was decent with the same traits as what you're proposing.

I'd watch it as long as Matt Damon and Sean Penn aren't involved. If George Clooney is in it, make sure he plays a Japanese guy that gets killed.

Thanks for the thoughts. From what I hear from others I know working as writers. Unless you're last name is on the same level as Cameron, Spielberg, or Wallace, you don't get a lot of input on who is cast for the roles.

The David v. Goliath element has always appealed to me also.