beevomav
V.I.P.
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2011
- Messages
- 2,956
Normally I would wait until I have a real computer but this information is so fresh and hot, that I have to use my 23 year old "Stone Dell" to get the word out.
If you are afraid of the truth, then you need to close this page, turn off your computer and hide in the corner. This information came from the same source that told of the devastation when Agie beloved dog "Revile" passed. It threw Ag U into a fit. Not only did they lose a part of the school but the down line effect was they had to cancel "Sex Education 101" as well.
Now comes these reasons. Yes I said reasons, as in multiple reasons. My insider, who I call Big Ag Mike has been in-bedded at Agie-Land for years. So long in fact that he recently had to enter "Overhaul Rehab." This is where we caught up with him.
Warning..."Big Ag Mike,"(where have I heard that name?) as I call him is not him self from the anti-overhaul drugs, so I take what he says with a grain of salt. That being said, I believe every word out of his drugged mouth.
For this post I will refer to Big Ag Mike as BAM. Bam recently leaked information about Johnny Football(JF) being unhappy at Agie'ville. Seems JF was still reeling from the 2012 suspension, but when he Tweeted how he couldn't wait to get out of College Station. Seems JF has some other issues we address.
Here's the interview: Note we had to disguise BAM's identy for obvious reasons.
Me...BAG, how is it you have this information on JF when the media only has a story about a speeding ticket.
BAM...Total smoke screen. What really happened was JF was looking for chicks at the George Bush Presidential Library and Museum. He was pulled over because hay was blowing out the back of his Bentley convertible. Now it's common knowledge the best way to get an "Agie Date"..wink-wink..is fresh hay, so 5-0, that's what they call the police at a hip place like Agieland, should have known better.
Me...My mind is going to a place I don't want it to go BAM but why would a ticket get him so riled?
BAM...It wasn't that ticket, it was the lack of respect. He is, after all, JF. Over at the Messina HOF winery, they allow him free samples and even keep a nice football shaped chia pet for his dates to munch on. I mean the guy is special and 5-0 should have been alerted? We are talking JF here.
Me...SMH..Well a ticket, even a disgusting one, should not have brought that on. There must be something else?
BAM...Well there was the Adamson Lagoon incident, but it was covered up, or so we thought.
Me...Cover up, shit I'm all in. Tell me about it.
BAMWell it's common knowledge that Agie male types wear those Euro Speedos to show their package. It's the rage in France and Agie love being continental.
Me...Go on..
BAM...Well most Agie male types insert something special to make an impression, if you know what I mean? JF showed up with nothing inserted and it was like, "damn he's a Ken Doll." Dude there was nothing, kinda asexual. No package, like that tranny I once dated by mistake.
Me...Move on
BAM...Word got out and for a while JF was really pissed. But we all thought he was over it when it was announced that JF was chosen as the real live model for the new Agie Ken Doll.
Me...Hold on. Are you telling us that JF, and his lack of a package, was chosen for the model of the Agie Ken Doll. Can I get a conformation BAM?
BAM...Dude, considered it confirmed. But that led to another issue. How was he going to explain that JF had no package? He panicked and hired a PR firm to explain, on the down low, to Agie that not only did he have a package, but it was a package that a Longhorn would be proud of. Everyone knows there is night and day difference between a Longhorn package and an Agie package. Like Slim Jim to John Holmes different.
Me...OK, so that seemed to be settled. What happened next?
BAM...What happened was he went out and got a Longhorn tattoo.
Me...Yea, we heard about that but if I remember correctly, it was meant as a joke and it was temporary?
BAM...That's bullshit. While being certified that he indeed did have a package someone noticed he had a Longhorn tattoo on his ass. Word got out, JF got mad and posted the tweet that got this started...
I mean they messed with his love life, gave him a ticket, joked of his lack of a package, and then put the word out about the tattoo...He might survive this season but he is done after 2013..
Me...Thanks BAM is there anything you would like to leave us with.
BAM...Well just a personal observation. I think JF is the best QB I have seen, and his secret is his lack of a package. It easier to run faster without a bunch of junk between his legs. Long live JF and the University of Agie.
As you can read, BAM has went over to the dark side. This is from the years of undercover work in AgieLand. I hope the detox and therapy will help but I am not sure? A special thanks goes out to Big Ag Mike for giving us this insider information.
Oh and Hook Em Horns!
If you are afraid of the truth, then you need to close this page, turn off your computer and hide in the corner. This information came from the same source that told of the devastation when Agie beloved dog "Revile" passed. It threw Ag U into a fit. Not only did they lose a part of the school but the down line effect was they had to cancel "Sex Education 101" as well.
Now comes these reasons. Yes I said reasons, as in multiple reasons. My insider, who I call Big Ag Mike has been in-bedded at Agie-Land for years. So long in fact that he recently had to enter "Overhaul Rehab." This is where we caught up with him.
Warning..."Big Ag Mike,"(where have I heard that name?) as I call him is not him self from the anti-overhaul drugs, so I take what he says with a grain of salt. That being said, I believe every word out of his drugged mouth.
For this post I will refer to Big Ag Mike as BAM. Bam recently leaked information about Johnny Football(JF) being unhappy at Agie'ville. Seems JF was still reeling from the 2012 suspension, but when he Tweeted how he couldn't wait to get out of College Station. Seems JF has some other issues we address.
Here's the interview: Note we had to disguise BAM's identy for obvious reasons.
Me...BAG, how is it you have this information on JF when the media only has a story about a speeding ticket.
BAM...Total smoke screen. What really happened was JF was looking for chicks at the George Bush Presidential Library and Museum. He was pulled over because hay was blowing out the back of his Bentley convertible. Now it's common knowledge the best way to get an "Agie Date"..wink-wink..is fresh hay, so 5-0, that's what they call the police at a hip place like Agieland, should have known better.
Me...My mind is going to a place I don't want it to go BAM but why would a ticket get him so riled?
BAM...It wasn't that ticket, it was the lack of respect. He is, after all, JF. Over at the Messina HOF winery, they allow him free samples and even keep a nice football shaped chia pet for his dates to munch on. I mean the guy is special and 5-0 should have been alerted? We are talking JF here.
Me...SMH..Well a ticket, even a disgusting one, should not have brought that on. There must be something else?
BAM...Well there was the Adamson Lagoon incident, but it was covered up, or so we thought.
Me...Cover up, shit I'm all in. Tell me about it.
BAMWell it's common knowledge that Agie male types wear those Euro Speedos to show their package. It's the rage in France and Agie love being continental.
Me...Go on..
BAM...Well most Agie male types insert something special to make an impression, if you know what I mean? JF showed up with nothing inserted and it was like, "damn he's a Ken Doll." Dude there was nothing, kinda asexual. No package, like that tranny I once dated by mistake.
Me...Move on
BAM...Word got out and for a while JF was really pissed. But we all thought he was over it when it was announced that JF was chosen as the real live model for the new Agie Ken Doll.
Me...Hold on. Are you telling us that JF, and his lack of a package, was chosen for the model of the Agie Ken Doll. Can I get a conformation BAM?
BAM...Dude, considered it confirmed. But that led to another issue. How was he going to explain that JF had no package? He panicked and hired a PR firm to explain, on the down low, to Agie that not only did he have a package, but it was a package that a Longhorn would be proud of. Everyone knows there is night and day difference between a Longhorn package and an Agie package. Like Slim Jim to John Holmes different.
Me...OK, so that seemed to be settled. What happened next?
BAM...What happened was he went out and got a Longhorn tattoo.
Me...Yea, we heard about that but if I remember correctly, it was meant as a joke and it was temporary?
BAM...That's bullshit. While being certified that he indeed did have a package someone noticed he had a Longhorn tattoo on his ass. Word got out, JF got mad and posted the tweet that got this started...
I mean they messed with his love life, gave him a ticket, joked of his lack of a package, and then put the word out about the tattoo...He might survive this season but he is done after 2013..
Me...Thanks BAM is there anything you would like to leave us with.
BAM...Well just a personal observation. I think JF is the best QB I have seen, and his secret is his lack of a package. It easier to run faster without a bunch of junk between his legs. Long live JF and the University of Agie.
As you can read, BAM has went over to the dark side. This is from the years of undercover work in AgieLand. I hope the detox and therapy will help but I am not sure? A special thanks goes out to Big Ag Mike for giving us this insider information.
Oh and Hook Em Horns!
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